“Two is No": Dealing with Toddler Puberty

When your toddler turns two, a lot changes. Your happy little one suddenly discovers that it has a will of its own and that saying “no” can be very powerful. This is also known as toddler puberty. It is a phase when your child explores boundaries and learns how the world works. But as a parent, how do you deal with a toddler who goes against everything?

In this blog, we share tips for getting through this challenging but also beautiful period smoothly.

Why does your toddler keep saying no?

It may seem like your toddler is trying to challenge you on purpose, but that's usually not the case. At this age, your child is discovering that they are their own person with their own ideas and preferences. The word “no” is a way for toddlers to gain control over their environment.

In addition, saying “no” is often also a response to overstimulation or fatigue. Toddlers do not yet have the language skills to explain how they feel, so they express themselves in the way that is easiest for them: with a short and forceful “no.”

How do you stay calm during this phase?

Toddler puberty can be quite frustrating at times. Nevertheless, it is important to remain patient and guide your child in a positive way. Here are some tips:

1. Offer choices.
Instead of saying, “Eat your plate,” you can ask, “Do you want to eat your carrots or your potatoes first?” By giving choices, you give your child a sense of control while you set the direction.

2. Set clear boundaries
Toddlers need structure and clarity. Provide simple rules, such as “Clean up first, then play.” This helps your child understand what is expected of him or her.

3. Stay calm
It can be tempting to lose your temper, but getting angry often backfires. Count to ten, breathe deeply and try to stay calm.

The power of positive attention

One of the most effective ways to deal with “Two is no” is to focus on what is going well. Give compliments when your child listens well or does something nicely. For example, “How nice that you cleaned up your toys!” Positive attention motivates your child to repeat desired behaviors.

Remember: it's a phase

“Two is no” is a normal and healthy phase in your child's development. It shows that your toddler is growing and learning who he or she is. While it can be challenging at times, it is also an opportunity to help your child develop important skills, such as independence and dealing with emotions.

Getting through toddler puberty together

Toddler bullying isn't always easy, but with patience, understanding and a positive approach, you'll come a long way. Ultimately, this is a phase in which your toddler is learning, growing and discovering his or her own place in the world. And that is something to be proud of.